The Plot Bunnie's Warren
by Ravenwood240
Summary: A twisting maze, trapping all the one shot plot bunnies that attack me. Ratings and Genres will change with each chapter. Now, if only I knew how to trap Writer's block
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Seriously? Does anyone read these things anymore? I don't own anything except a 73 Harley, its oil leaks and a Dell laptop._

 _A/N: This is the first of a few things scattered over various thumbdrives that I had started, but may never finish. They will all be oneshots, at this time. Of course, I've said that about a dozen other stories. I am working on SoG and the new story, starting fourth year, but I found this and few others looking for all my reference data for SoG, so am posting it while I work out how to finish SoG. Since these are drabbles, they are un betaed, unedited and rough as hell. You can brit pick, grammar nazi and correct anything you want, but be aware that I won't be fixing anything unless this becomes a real story. Jiminy Cricket says that's not going to happen soon though._

Scenario: The night the Potters died, Sirius and Hagrid arrive to find Harry gone. Sirius doesn't go after the rat, deciding that finding Harry is more important. The two of them catch a DE and discover that the LeStranges are going to attack the Longbottoms, looking for information. With forewarning and several extra wands, the Longbottoms live. Harry, Frank, Alice and Neville Longbottom disappear, not to be seen or heard from until it is time for Hogwarts. The first three years of Hogwarts slowly diverge from Canon as their actions change things. Harry is protected by several things, including Lord Sirius Black, the Blood wards and a Potter, who is supposedly from a cadet line that squibbed out some years ago, with this new Potter being the first in his family to have magic in four generations. Since he is obviously a Potter, can anchor the Blood wards and can access the Potter Grimore, The Wizengamot refuses to send Harry to a Muggle household. The two boys step back into the Wizard world accompanied by Hermione, whom they met in school. (By the new Potter's design.) Needless to say, they are not what anyone expects.

 _ **Harry Potter and the Man Who Knew Too Much**_

 _ **Ravenwood240**_

Harry Potter, fourth year Gryffindor, looked up with everyone else as the doors to the Great Hall opened with a boom. Lit in a flash of lightning from the enchanted ceiling was a very disturbing sight. Mad-Eye Moody was marked by a lifetime of fighting the Dark Arts and the people that used them. His scars had scars and only the former Care of Magical Creatures Professor was missing more body parts. Harry grinned at the old man and used his wand to send a magical pulse that Mad-Eye's artificial eye would pick up. Harry saw the orb swivel around to look at him and he send another pulse.

Harry frowned as Mad-Eye didn't break his stride or respond in any way. He considered the man as Headmaster Dumbledore introduced him and came to an abrupt conclusion. Harry closed his eyes as he fought the red tide of rage that threatened to overwhelm him. The five people sitting closest to him stiffened and looked at him as they felt his magic stir. Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Fred, George and Ronald Weasley watched him, four with concern and Ron with confusion. Harry fought the anger down and opened his eyes. His eyes swept his four companions. "That's an imposter up there," he muttered and all four of them looked at Mad-Eye.

Hermione looked at him. "You're certain?", she asked. Harry nodded and sighed.

"I told you what I would do this year if things didn't change, and an impostor pretending to be the man who taught me for three years says Dumbledore is either an idiot like second year or up to something like first year. Either way, I'm off to Sirius and better days." Harry finished his comments as the food appeared and stood up.

Fred and George looked at each other and then at Harry. "Keep in touch," said Fred. "Mum will never let us leave yet, so we'll be your eyes and ears here in Hogwarts." Harry nodded and started towards the doors as Hermione and Neville stood up to follow Harry.

"Potter, where do you think you're going?" The sibilant challenge was loud enough to silence the Great Hall. Professor Snape was standing at the head table, glaring at Harry's back as if his look would stop Harry.

Harry and his friends didn't break stride or even acknowledge the Potions Master, until the doors of the Great Hall swung shut in front of them. Harry tried the door and was not surprised to find it locked. The anger that he had fought down was rising again as he turned to face the only person that could have locked the doors. "Headmaster Dumbledore, would you open the doors, please? My friends and I would like to leave."

"The feast has just begun, Mr. Potter. I find it hard to believe that you have eaten yet." Dumbledore watched him curiously. Over the summer, Sirius, Harry and the Headmaster had worked out all the conditions of Harry returning this year, and he had met them all.

Harry stared at him for a minute and realized that he had to tell the old Wizard why he was leaving. "In my first year," he said, load enough to cover the still silent room, the DADA Professor was possessed by Voldemort." He paused and allowed the gasps and sounds at the sound of Voldemort's name to end before continuing. "I ended up having to kill him." Murmurs broke out as Harry openly admitted to the rumours that had surrounded the end of first year. "Second year, Lockhart was a fraud, and I had to stop him from Obliviating me. He's serving life in Azkaban now for his crimes. Just last year, Auror Dawlish turned out to be a Pureblood Supremacist and Hermione and I were forced to kill him." Harry stared at Dumbledore, keeping the man pretending to be Mad-Eye Moody in sight. "So, this year, Lord Black would only allow me to return if the DADA Professor was somebody we both trusted not to try and kill me again."

Dumbledore looked at Mad-Eye and back at Harry. "Both of you approved Auror Moody, Mr. Potter," he said, suddenly worried about what Snape had started. He was careful to keep Mad-Eye in the corner of his eye.

Harry nodded. "We did, Sir. We did so, because Mad-eye was my trainer for three years." More murmurs broke out as the impostor stiffened. "In order to keep it secret, Moody taught me a charm that his eye could see, that would unlock the memories of that training. Without that charm, no spell could find those memories." Harry looked at man everyone else was staring at. "When the charm is sent, Mad-Eye has a signal that he's supposed to send me. Since the man sitting there didn't send it, I believe that is an impostor. Given my first three years here, I have to assume that it's yet another plot to kill me."

Barty Crouch Jr. looked at all the people staring at him and the sheer number of wands pointing his way and knew he was not getting out of this room under his own power. Since the Dark Lord wanted Potter for a ritual, he couldn't attack him, but Dumbledore was right within reach. Going for a wand would be foolish, but there was another choice. He jumped at the Headmaster, slipping the dagger up his sleeve into his hand as he jumped.

He was shocked to find his attack stopped abruptly, and to feel himself flying through the air. Before he could catch up with what had happened, his skull collided with the stone wall of the room, and despite Harry's belief, Death eaters did not have heads harder than rock.

Every eye in the Great Hall watched as the death eater slid down the wall, leaving a streak of blood and thicker things behind. After the body hit the floor, those eyes moved to Hagrid, whose giant hand had grabbed the impostor and slung him against the wall. Hagrid looked at all the faces and ducked his head. "Never attack Professor Dumbledore in front of me," he muttered, seconds before the room erupted into chaos.


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I don't own nothing, nohow._

 _A/N: I recently aquired a complete set of the British Hardback Harry Potter novels, and sat down on a weekend to read them all cover to cover. By fifth year... this is what happened to my mind._

 _ **Harry Potter and the DADA Professor.**_

 _ **Ravenwood240**_

"Reducto!"

Every head in the Great Hall swiveled from the headless body sitting in the DADA chair to Harry Potter, who was putting his wand away. Harry looked at all the faces and blinked. "What? This is my fifth year here and in the first four years, one DADA professor had Voldemort in his head, one tried to Obliviate me and leave me in the Chamber of Secrets, one nearly killed me or made me a werewolf and the last one nearly killed me four times, and gave me to Voldemort so he could try and kill me. This year, I simply used a preemptive strike."

Harry sat down and smiled at Hermione. "Pass the Shepherd pie, would you?" he asked.

 _A/N: Honestly, by fifth year, Harry should have simply assumed that even the best DADA Professor was going to try and kill him by the end of the year. Even Remus nearly killed him, even though it wouldn't have been on purpose._


	3. Chapter 3

Just a bit of Snape torment. Too silly for most of my work, too short for a story, too low on plot for anything but a blurb.

The Dungeon Bat's Day Off.

Ravenwood240

Fury roiled in my mind and blood. Harry had just come back from another one of the "Lessons" with that putrid Potions Professor, and even without magic, I could feel the pain and exhaustion rolling from him in waves. Any fool would know that teaching any skill shouldn't cause this torment. The dungeon bat was simply extending his torture of Harry to a new area. Five years of this was enough. Snape would obviously never change, and his actions were becoming more and more vicious as time went on.

It was time to put my plan into action.

Four longs weeks later, I was ready. Snape was as evil as ever, Harry was running on the ragged edge, and it was time to settle accounts with the Slytherin.

Snape strode down the hallway, sneering at a pair of Hufflepuffs that caught his eye. As he turned the corner, he saw something moving and focused on it, tensing his wrist, preparing for anything. Draco was coming down the hall, examining his wand. Malfoy looked up. "Professor Snape, may I have a moment of your time? It seems there is a curse on my wand. I think Potter did it."

Snape refrained from rolling his eyes. According to the young Malfoy, Potter was responsible for everything that happened, from his missing homework to the poor music on the wizard wireless.

He was reaching for Draco's wand when a red light flashed and that was the last he knew.

Harry was eating breakfast the next morning, thinking about the DA meeting from the night before, and planning the next meeting when the Great Hall went completely silent. Long experience with odd happenings had him reaching for his wand even as he looked up.

"Good Morning, everyone," came the cheerful greeting from the figure in the doorway. Harry stared at it, just as everyone else was doing. Professor Snape was dressed in a pink bunny suit, and hopping towards the staff table, smiling widely at everyone his eyes fell on. Every eye in the hall followed his progress, watching silently as he settled into his seat and looked over the food. "What? No carrots?" He turned to the Headmaster, who was watching him, just like everyone else. "We really should have some carrots, Albus," he said. "They're yummy."

"I'll consider it, Severus," Professor Dumbledore said, even as his eyes turned toward the Weasley twins.

Fred and George looked at each other and then stood up. "We didn't do it," they chorused. "As much as we would love to claim credit for this," Fred said, "it is not our work."

"To be completely honest," George chimed in, "If we had done it, we would have done a kitten on Professor Umbridge."

The current DADA professor glared at them. She'd remember that.

(The rest of the day will consist of Snape being happy, helpful and cheerful to an almost obscene degree, interspersed with various attempts to remove the effects from the Potions Master. Snape will teach the Bunny Hop to a few people, and the effects will wear off during dinner. Despite questioning and even magical attempts to find the culprit, no one will be able to determine the offending party.)

Closing Paragraph:

Dennis Creevey grinned as he finished developing the final set of pictures he'd taken the day before. Snape was never going to live this down if he could help it. And since he'd already sent more than fifty sets of pictures to various people, including Minister Fudge and Rita Skeeter, it wouldn't even remain a Hogwarts secret, like so many things before this. He hung the prints up to dry and sat in his chair to wait. He'd watched as everyone that might have done this was questioned and released. They'd never even thought to ask him, since according to Snape, he couldn't brew worth a damn. He smirked. Hermione was right about one thing, Wizards had no logic at all. They didn't even realize that developing film, especially magical film for moving pictures required a certain amount of Potions skill.

At least Harry had been laughing today. He didn't do much of that anymore. Dennis was quite satisfied with his work.


	4. Chapter 4

Disturbing bit of stuff...

"Harry Potter."

The great hall broke out in whispers as every eye turned to look for the Boy Who Lived. He was easy to find, as he was the only first year not wearing robes. He was dressed in some sort of Muggle boots and pants with big pockets half way down the leg and a turtleneck shirt. Covering all of that was a long trench coat, that hung oddly on the boy's frame, as if several heavy objects were in it. All of his clothing was black, with the sole exception of a silver cross hanging around his neck. He stood at the back of the group of unsorted first years, his feet apart and his hands behind his back.

Harry brought his hands down to his sides and his feet came together before he marched up to the stool the Sorting Hat was on. He stopped there and looked at Dumbledore. "Are you certain you want to do this, old man?"

The great hall fell silent at the contempt in Harry's voice, watching the scene unfolding before them. Professor Snape snarled but before he said anything, Harry glanced at him. "Shut up, minion. I already know you're so far up the old man's rear that his word is your law." Harry looked back at Dumbledore. "I'm offering you one last chance, old man. Let me go, or everything that happens after this is on your head."

"It really is for the best, Harry," the Headmaster said.

Harry Potter stared at him for a few seconds. "Fine. Just remember, fool, that you brought this on yourself."

Harry turned to the sorting hat and picked it up, holding it in his hands. "When the Hogwarts letter came, I sent back a letter, saying I did not want to attend this school. The old man there, sent his greasy haired minion to try and change my mind. I refused a second time, and a third." Harry looked at Dumbledore again and one hand dipped into his pocket. "For a thousand years, if a muggleborn or half blood student refused to attend, they were Obliviated of all knowledge of magic, and their magic was bound, which is what I wanted."

The people in the great hall were all staring at Harry in complete shock. Harry continued talking, ignoring everyone but Dumbledore and Snape. "When they persisted in insisting that I attend, I bbroke Minion's arm, jaw and wand." Harry looked at Dumbledore. "Then, the old man there threatened my family and friends, threatened to use his magic on them. Under duress, I agreed to come to this school, and I am here." He looked at Dumbledore again. "However, old man, I never said I would attend your school."

Harry dropped the sorting hat on the floor and took three steps back. Even as he took that last step, and strange popping sound came from the sorting hat and it burst into flames.

Streams of water came from several wands as most of the wizards sat watching in horror as the sorting hat was destroyed. Whatever fire Harry had started was not put out by the water, and it wasn't until Professor Flitwick covered the hat in mud that the flames died out.

When the fire was gone, every eye turned back to Harry Potter, who was standing at parade rest again. "Maybe now you will understand, old man. I am a soldier of God, and your destruction is my only purpose."

As he finished speaking, Harry dropped two cannisters at his feet and dropped to the floor, rolling away even as smoke starting billowing out of the tubes. Three more smoke grenades were set off, and between smoke and panicking children it took the staff nearly ten minutes to restore order in the great hall.

Harry Potter was nowhere to be found.

Storyline: After being saddled with the freak, Vernon found an extremist Christian group, and with Petunia's help, managed to convince them that there were still witches and wizards out there, hiding among real people.

The Dursley's gave Harry to them, to save his soul and Harry is brought up as the perfect brainwashed soldier of God, trained in ways that the Inquisition would have approved of. Scourging, self flagellation, hours of indoctrination and instruction on God's word.

Along the way, they manage to capture a few wizard, including one minor Death Eater. The Death Eater's rants about wizard superiority, mudbloods and the complete worthlessness of Muggles only serve to confirm everything Harry is being taught.

Along the way, Harry is trained in small unit warfare and terrorist tactics. For the final proof of the righteousness of his cause, Harry is faster, stronger and quicker than he should be, and cannot be touched by wizard magic. His magic has formed a shield, that protects him from the evil attacks of the demons and their human servants. Harry, of course, believes it is his faith that protects him, and will not be swayed from his beliefs.

Note: I am intrigued by this plotline, but have decided not to write it. Besides the whole religion controversy, I cannot decide if it would be better to let Harry win his war, destroying the wizard world of Britain, or to have him "saved" and deprogrammed.


	5. Chapter 5

Just a bit of UberPower junk that fell out of my mind after an overly modded Skyrim game crashed my computer, erasing 96 hours of saved game.

 _ **Harry Potter and the Power of Mods.**_

 _ **RavenWood240**_

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter or Skyrim, or the 286 mods I had loaded up that caused this bit of silliness to erupt from my twisted mind.

"We need help, Hermione."

Hermione looked at Harry. "I agree, but since Ron left, who can we trust?"

Ron had stormed out a week ago, and the two of them were trying to figure out what they were going to do now. Supplies were low, morale was lower and all in all, the future of the Wizarding World looked bleak. The two of them swapped possibilities back and forth, unaware of the Presence watching them.

"They really do need help," it thought, "but from whom?" As the Presence considered the question, it realized something interesting was going on elsewhere. A Thought later the Presence was listening with amusement as the mortal he called Murphy's Gamer swore at her computer in four languages. Peeping into her mind he saw what had happened. After two years of playing Skyrim straight, she'd started using mods, and the last mod configuration, with some 286 different mods had crashed her system, completely erasing 90 some hours of game play and skill building on her latest character.

The Presence grinned to itself. Sliding back in time 30 minutes, he lifted the last auto-save from her computer, and zipped back across three dimensions, making a few minor changes to the data he'd borrowed.

Nightshade D'angelo opened her eyes an blinked. She was laying on the floor and two young people were staring at her, stunned looks on their faces. She looked at them, and looked around the small room they were in. "Um, Hello?"

(Insert meet and greet, long discussion about everything, and Harry and Hermione learning many interesting things... Including Fortify Enchantment and all the enchantments you can put on weapons and armour in Skyrim. Add the three most important spells in all of Skyrim, Soultrap, Slow Time and Paralysis, and Harry and Hermione are literally untouchable. Since the modded teacher can do unlimited enchantments on everything, Harry and Hermione will have a Sneak high enough that people can't find them, even when bumping into them. Add weapons that do upwards of 12 billion points of damage per hit while inflicting soultrap, paralysis, freezing, burning, shock and a few other damages, Multiple bits of Armour that offer mega boosts from hell and resistance to well, everything and the final battle will be over instantly. BTW, Resist Magic in Skyrim totally negates the spell if your resistance is high enough, and with Fortify Enchantment and Fortify Smithing, you can get your resistance to upward of a 12 digit percentage. In fact, you have to be careful not to overpower the armour, as after a certain point, it goes into negative numbers.)

Voldemort was in the drawing room at Malfoy Manor, going over the plans to extend his rule into France. Dumbledore was dead, and while Harry Potter and Hermione Granger were still missing, no one had heard anything from them in several months. Most of the Death Eaters believed they had run away, although Voldemort wasn't so certain. The rest of Britain was firmly in his grip and it was time to start the next phase of his plans.

His planning came to an abrupt stop as the wards around the Manor literally exploded under a massive magical strike that overloaded them all at once. He Apparated outside and over the gardens surrounding the house. Spread out around the house were more that fifty figures, As Lucius Malfoy joined him he grabbed his arm and sent a call out thru the Dark Mark. "I want all of them dead, unless Potter is with them," hissed Voldemort. "Potter is mine."

Over the next few minutes, almost every marked Death Eater appeared and gathered around their Lord.

When the only marked followers not present were the few left at Hogwarts to control the children, They started toward the figures, only to stop as two of the attackers shot balls of lightning at them. Voldemort sneered and and tried to Apparate, only to be stopped by wards. Before he could do anything else, the lightning exploded one ball to each side of the group.

Even as the screams and shrieks of the Death Eaters filled the air, more of the lightning balls were exploding. The barrage went on for almost a full minute and when it was over, the only being still standing was Voldemort himself.

He looked around at his minions, seeing only burnt corpses and the end of his plans to expand. A red haze filled his brain and he turned toward the ones that had done this, seeing the majority of the figures wavering and disappearing, leaving only two, who were walking his way. He recognized Harry Potter and Hermione Granger and the fury in his mind grew higher.

"I will not kill you today, Potter," he hissed, nearly sinking into Parseltongue, "I must think on how to answer this outrage, how to best make you pay for this."

Harry and Hermione stopped about thirty metres away and looked at him. Harry just smirked at Riddle. "I don't think you'll have the chance, Tom." Harry released the slow time spell he had behind his back and walked to Voldemort, who was trying to bring up his wand.

Harry drew the heavily enchanted dagger from his belt and stabbed Riddle before he could bring his wand to bear. Riddle's body was destroyed instantly by the combined strike of nine different damage causing enchantments, while his soul was captured in a Black soul gem.

Harry and Hermione used recall to teleport back to their Mark. Once there, Harry went to the Arcane Enchanter and made an item, using Riddle's soul.

Seventeen generations of Potters used the luminescent toilet seat that was always in the right position for use before it's origins were lost to history's mists. To this day it sits, forgotten in a Potter vault.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: This is a complete crackfic, and as such it steals bits and pieces from every time travel fic that I've ever read. Don't ask for a list of the ones I've read, because I haven't got a clue how many I've read and very few stick out in my mind. If you see something you recognize... well, there are only so many ways to turn back time. For the purposes of this story, everything JKR wrote is Canon, even the stinking epilogue. The dates for Harry's return were taken from "30 MINUTES THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING" by Radaslab. It is on Fanfictiondotnet ID number: 5178251 . We know that Harry was left unattended with a broken arm at some point when he was younger, so I used those dates for amusement, since I am unable to find a Canon date for it. I have no idea where the thought of Love potions being used by Ginny and Ron came from first, nor do I really care, since to my mind, a potion is the only explanation for Hermione being with Ron at all.

The Completely Over The Top Time Travel Story  
Ravenwood240  
Chapter One  
The End.

Harry Potter watched as his wife of more than eighty years was lowered into the ground and felt nothing more than a sense of relief. Ginny had grown up to be just like Molly and that had led to many arguments the last fifty years, since Harry was not Arthur.

Harry turned and started limping toward Potter Manor. No one was here to be with him as he buried Ginny simply because most of them were dead and gone. The Weasleys had all gone first, saving only a few children living with cousins. Bill and Fleur had fled Britain thirty years ago, when the Magical Beasts laws were amended to include Veelas. No one had heard from them since.

Charlie had been one of the best Dragon Handlers in the world, but that hadn't saved him from slipping on a patch of ice and breaking his neck. Harry had hoped, when he heard about the accident, that Charlie had been dead before the dragon found his body and did what any carnivore would do with fresh meat.

Percy had been killed by one of the dozens of Muggle-born workers that had been fired after the Ministry's hiring policies had been changed to allow any Pureblood to take a position held by a Muggleborn.

George had lived for awhile, but he was never the same after Fred's death and no one was quite sure if the potion accident in the shop had been a real accident or suicide.

Arthur and Molly had died within days of each other, just weeks after Ron had been sentenced to Azkaban for Hermione's murder. They had gotten older with the death of each child, and Ron's betrayal of family had been the last straw for them.

Ron had died in Azkaban just five years into his sentence and Harry still went to his grave every year on the anniversary of Hermione's death and pissed on the grave. Hermione had never been meant to be a Molly clone and after their children were grown and out of the house, she'd told Ron that she was leaving him to pursue a career in spell creation. Ron's temper and jealousy had never changed and he'd cursed her as she walked out the door. In a bitterly ironic move, Ron had used the same curse that Hermione had survived in the Department of Mysteries.

Of Harry's friends that weren't Weasleys, only Neville and Luna still lived in Britain, since they were the only Pureblood couple he knew. Everyone else had left after the passing of the Blood Laws.

Harry reached Potter Manor and limped inside, going to his study. He sat down and thought about the last eighty years. Nothing had changed. The Purebloods still controlled the Ministry, Dark Lords popped up every ten or twenty years and no one wanted it to change.

Oh, Harry and Hermione had tried. They had tried to change things, but they didn't have the political skill, contacts or money to fight the Purebloods. Hermione had been stopped when The Blood Laws had passed, and Muggleborns were forbidden to interfere with the Wizengamot.

Harry had quit trying to change the world when the last of his children had died. All three of them had gone into Ministry work, James and Albus as Aurors and Lily as an Unspeakable. James and Albus had died stopping one of the Dark Lords and Lily had died in something. Harry never had found out what, as the Unspeakables wouldn't talk about it.

Harry looked at the thick bundle of papers he'd been collecting for the last ten years. The Purebloods were dying out, but they they were still fighting anything that looked like it might take the slightest privilege from them. Harry was uncertain if they would die out first or cause another war, this one between the Purebloods and the Ministry against the Muggleborn.

He'd spent ten years collecting every scrap of information about what had happened since he was born, talking to those that lived and searching for diaries and journals left behind by the ones that were no longer alive.

He'd found something in the Potter vaults, something that no one else knew about. He'd examined it for weeks before putting it back in the vault fifteen years ago. He looked at it again. The day Ginny had died, he'd brought it back out of the vault.

'It' was a small leather book, much like the journal of his second year. It, like that book of so long ago, was a journal. This notebook had belonged to Harold Potter, Harry's ancestor from eight generations ago. He had been insane, as far as Harry could tell, but with his insanity had come a genius level intellect. There were a dozen of his notebooks in the vault but this one was the only one Harry was interested in right now.

This one contained a formula for going back in time. Fifteen years ago, James and Albus had been alive and Harry had been content. Not happy, but not willing to risk everything on an untested formula, no matter who made it. This notebook Harry had never shown anyone, but he'd shown a few of the others to Hermione and she'd confirmed that the spells and formula in those books all worked. Harry had already worked out exactly when he was going to go back to.

He wanted to change many things, not just the things he had been involved in personally, but more than thirty other things he'd not even known about when they happened. He wanted to go back far enough to save his parents, but he couldn't. In order to be able to do magic and save most of the information in his brain, his previous body had to be at least five or six years old. Any earlier and his mind would not be sufficiently developed to remember all the things that he needed to remember.

Harry picked up the notebook and began figuring out exactly what date he was going to go back to. It was a pity you couldn't take physical objects back in time with you, but the energy requirements to take mass back in time were beyond incredible. Harry worked through the night as his fervour grew. Luna's mother, yes that would have to change, Arthur's dead end job... Harry's thoughts trailed off at that. Arthur liked his job and he wouldn't be happy working somewhere else, despite the money issues the Weasleys had. Harry had to be careful not to become another Albus Dumbledore, manipulating people for some nebulous 'Greater Good'.

It took Harry three weeks to work out every last detail of going back. He'd known that he would have to choose the right moment, but he had not known that he would have to account for the distance the planet had traveled in space as well. After he had the calculations worked out for the day after Hermione's death day, he reviewed everything that he was going to try and change when he went back. Luna's mum, Sirius, Peter, the Horcruxes, the Basilisk, that damn Diary. Harry sighed. He was going to be very busy. Harry made the rest of his preparations and was ready to go the day before the anniversary of Hermione's death. Harry looked around at the Mansion that had belonged to thirty generations of Potters and sighed. If this trip he was taking didn't work, it would be lost, since only a Potter could find it and he was the last Potter.

The next day Harry shook out his Invisibility Cloak and made his annual trip to Ron's grave. He used the Cloak to urinate on Ron's grave because if he didn't someone might report his actions. Ron had earned an Order of Merlin for his actions in the Voldemort war, and pissing on his grave was technically a crime. Since Harry had no intention of being arrested for anything, he was careful not to get caught.

Harry stood before Hermione's grave, looking at the stone he had paid for. The dates on the stone didn't even add up to a Muggle life span and Harry sank to his knees. "This time, things will be different, Hermione. I promise that I will do everything to make sure you have the life Ron cut short."

"Hello, Neville. Have you got a few minutes to talk?"

Neville nodded and Harry's head pulled back from the Floo. A few minutes later, Harry stepped out of the Floo and dusted himself off. Neville watched him and frowned. Harry was tense, in a way Neville hadn't seen in years. "Hello, Harry. It's been a while."

Harry grinned at the not very veiled request for information and spent a few minutes asking about Luna the their children. Neville, as with any parent, was more than willing to talk about his children, but after about twenty minutes he looked at Harry again. "I know you didn't come over here just to talk about the children, Harry. What did you come here for?"

Harry pulled a large sheaf of papers and scrolls from his robes. "I'm about to try something, Neville," he said quietly. "If I works, you won't need these papers. If it doesn't work, I am going to ask for a huge favour. This is the Potter Legacy, everything we have made, bought or otherwise acquired since the first Potter."

Neville blinked. "Why are you bringing it here?"

"Because I'm going to try something new, something dangerous the day after tomorrow, and if you haven't heard from me in a year and a day, I would ask that you choose one of your children to be the next Potter. The papers are already in here, missing only the name of the child you pick."

Neville blinked again, thinking about what Harry was asking. It wasn't unheard of, that a family would adopt another family's second or third child if they didn't have an heir of their own, but this was the first time anyone had asked him. "Why us, Harry?"

Harry shrugged. "Mostly, because you're my last friend in Britain. Also, your children will be able to vote the Potter seat, since they are Purebloods." He sighed. "If the Ministry comes around asking about me, be honest with them, Neville. What I'm going to do is not within their laws, but after watching the Ministry and the Malfoys ruin everything I loved about the wizard world, I am less than concerned about their laws."

Neville nodded, as the pieces fell into place for him. "That's why you said wait a year and a day. You figure the Ministry will know what you did by then, or they will never know." He stared at Harry for a minute. "You're not going to try and raise Ginny... No, you won't. You're not going to try to raise Hermione from the dead, are you?"

Harry shook his head. "I wouldn't even know where to begin with that. No, this is something entirely different." He looked at Neville. "Would you do this for me, my friend? I want to go into this knowing that somebody will look after the Potter estates, no matter what happens."

Neville nodded. "I will, Harry, although, you'll understand that I hope to have you here for Christmas dinner."

Harry smiled as he stood up. "If I can be here, I will be. For now, I have some other things to do before I do this." Harry made his goodbyes and stepped into the Floo.

Neville looked at the papers in his hand and took them to his study, wondering just what Harry had planned. He had a suspicion that Harry was either going to try the impossible or was just picking his own way to die. Whichever it was, Neville wished his oldest friend luck.

Harry went back to Potter Manor for the last time and looked around. Living with Ginny had not been all bad, and the memories of his children would power a Patronus easily. He sat down in his study and straightened out his bad leg, gotten in his last professional Quidditch match. Harry had only played for six years, but he'd been one of the best and in his last match, the Beaters for the Falmouth Falcons had been hunting him. It hadn't been the Bludger that had destroyed his knee though, but the collision with the goalpost after the hit. Harry suddenly looked at his knee again and smiled. If this worked tomorrow, he'd be able to fly again. Harry looked up at the mantle above the fireplace, where an old Firebolt hung. He hadn't been able to fly since the match, since his knee simply wouldn't bend at all.

That injury had ended his Quidditch, but Harry couldn't sit around and do nothing. He'd taught DADA for fifteen years and then Charms for ten more. During that time he'd studied Runes and Arithmancy, with Hermione's help.

The thought of being able to fly again sent him to sleep with a smile on his face.

OoOoOoO

Harry was up early the next morning and had everything in place. He was going back to May 7th, 1988. Harry remembered that time well, and it was the best time to make sure that Dumbledore couldn't send him back to the Dursleys. Harry smirked at the thought of what he was about to do to the Dursleys. Harry had been thinking for a couple of decades about his life and the people in it and he'd come to a few conclusions. This would give him the chance to fix a lot of things, if it worked.

Harry went into his Potions room. Normally, the room had a couple of tables set up with various potions brewing. Pepper Up, blood replenishing potions, all the things that a family might need at a moments notice. Now, all of that was gone, replaced by a large circle drawn on the floor, filled with runic arrays that Harry had copied exactly from Hermione's notes. He looked at it again and stripped down to his skin. He kept his wand long enough to activate the arrays and then tossed it out of the circle. He watched the arrays start to glow, just as Hermione had said they would. She had said that it would take a few minutes to drain enough magic from him and the manor to activate the runes, so Harry watched as they began glowing brighter and brighter, until he couldn't look at them any more. There was a pressure building on his skin, as if he was underwater and getting deeper. Harry was just beginning to wonder if he'd done something wrong when there was a sudden spike in the pressure and a blinding pain in his head. His hands never made it to his head though, as with one final burst of light, Harry Potter disappeared.

OoOoOoO

Harry woke up with a shiver. He hurt everywhere, his head was pounding and his arm was a solid mass of agony. Despite all of that, he smiled. He was looking up at the ceiling of the Dursley house. He crawled over to the phone. He would have never dared to do this the first time around, but then, there were a lot of things he would not have done then.

Harry called the emergency services and left the phone off the hook after hearing that someone was on the way. He thought about what he would have to do. The Dursleys had left him for three days with a broken arm while they were away. More importantly, Dumbledore was away on ICW business for a week. That gave Harry six days to be so firmly entrenched in the Muggle world that Dumbledore couldn't fix the Dursleys. Harry crawled back into his cupboard, since he didn't want there to be any mistakes about where he was living.

When he heard the vehicle pull up he waved his hand at the door, cracking it open just a bit. A minute later someone tried to knock and the door swung open. Harry had left his foot hanging out of the cupboard, just enough to be visible from the doorway. "Hello? Is somebody..." The voice stopped and steps came down the hallway. Harry remained limp until a hand touched his ankle. He moaned slightly and tried to pull up into his cupboard. "Easy, son. I've got you." The man pulled Harry out of the cupboard gently. He saw the arm and muttered something under his breath that Harry didn't catch. "Helen, I've got our patient. You had better come look at this."

Harry heard more footsteps and he did hear what the woman said, but he didn't think he'd be repeating it any time soon. "Right, I'll ring the Bobbies."

Harry looked at the man that was carrying him to a stretcher. "You can't take me away," Harry whispered. "I haven't weeded the garden yet. They'll be so angry if it's not done right."

The put Harry down on a stretcher and looked at him. "Somehow, lad, I think the garden is going to be the least of their worries. What's your name?"

"Harry Potter." Harry looked up at the man and blinked the confusion out of his eyes. "They're going to be mad again. I wasn't supposed to talk to anyone while they were gone." He tried to look frightened.

"They'll get over it very quickly this time, lad. Can you tell me what happened to your arm?"

Harry frowned and bit his lip as if he was thinking. "It hurt a lot after Dudley and his gang caught me in the park and beat me up again. I couldn't move it, but it didn't bend like that until Vernon jerked me around and threw me in the cupboard for getting blood on Dudley's new pants."

Helen had returned and the two of them shared a look. "Well, Harry, it appears as if the arm is broken. We're going to have to take you to the hospital so they can take an X-ray or two."

Harry nodded and watched as the two went on with their work. In just a few minutes, he was bundled secured and ready to go, but someone else came in before they could start him out the door.

"Good day, Richard, Helen. What have you got for me?"

Helen drew the constable away and had a short conversation with him, showing him the cupboard. He frowned as he wrote some notes and then came back to Harry. "Hello, Harry. My name is Constable Jackson, and you and I will be having a long talk after these two get you fixed up. Right now, I need to know your name and the names of the other people that live here." Harry gave him the names and watched as he wrote them in his book. "Right then, Harry. I'll be seeing you shortly."

Harry laid on the stretcher and tried to look as small and helpless as he could as he was taken out to the vehicle. He saw all of the neighbours out watching the show and had to hide a smirk. Dumbledore would never be able to Obliviate everyone that knew about this by the time he came back.

OoOoOoO

By the time Harry saw Constable Jackson again, he was fed and rather giddy from the pain medications they had given him. The Constable sat down beside Harry's bed as two more people came in and one of them set up a video camera. "Harry, this is Rebecca and David. They're going to be listening to us talk. Rebecca is with the Children Services and David is a Evidence Technician for the police."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: An idea, that might be finished one day, but not soon.  
Harry Potter and the Beginning, Again  
Ravenwood240

Chapter One  
Privet Dr., One More Time.

Harry Potter woke up and blinked several times. His eyesight was fuzzy, as it hadn't been in years and he started to smile. He held up his hand and quickly examined his surroundings by the light that grew from his fingers. He was under the stairs at the Dursley house, in the cupboard that had been his home for nearly ten years so very long ago. He smiled, a cold and grim smile for anyone. On the young face that Harry had now, it was particularly disturbing.

He sat up and waved his hand at the door and it unlocked itself and opened. Harry stepped out and went to the smallest bedroom. An hour later, it was much better suited to him and he finished the remodelling by putting the room under the Fidelius with himself as the secret holder. He went inside the room and sat down in his comfortable chair to remember how he had ended up coming back one hundred years in time.

OoOoOoO

Harry stood and watched with dry eyes as Hermione's coffin was lowered into the ground. The curse from the Department of Mysteries so long ago had long term affects that had contributed to her death at a mere one hundred and two years old. Harry stood there, lost in memories of the bushy haired girl that would dare anything if it would give her new knowledge. He was interrupted by the Auror that moved up next to him. "Mr. Potter, you'll have to leave now. Mrs. Potter... the Auror shivered at Harry's glare and changed his words. "The younger Weasleys want to pay their respects to Mrs. Weasley."

Harry looked back at Ginny and Ron, standing the required two hundred feet away. His face twisted for a minute, and the Auror stepped back from the furious hatred radiating from Harry. Harry saw the movement and closed his eyes, using the Occlumency he'd mastered to control himself. "You don't need to be worried. I will not start anything here, not today." Harry turned and walked away from the grave. He had somewhere to be. A few seconds later he was gone.

At Gringotts, Harry asked for Snaptalon and was ushered to a small room. The Goblin came in a minute later and handed Harry a stack of papers and notebooks. "Hermione Granger left these things for you. Given the difficulty of having you and the other people named in her will in the same room at the same time, I chose to give these to you before the reading." The Goblin smiled viciously. "You probably don't want to be at the reading anyway. I've never seen a Howler will before."

Harry blinked. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to sell me a pensive memory of that, would you?"

Snaptalon smiled again. "Goblins can't do pensive memories, Mr. Potter, but we can record the entire thing, if the price is right."

Harry and Snaptalon had matching grins when Harry left the room a few minutes later. He stepped outside and was soon at his place, the small house that his parents had died in so very long ago. He took a minute to look at the mail that Dobby had collected, pulling out the events he would go to and leaving the rest of the invites for Dobby to forward to Ginny. It was petty, Harry knew, but making sure that Ginny never got to attend any of the really good events they were invited to was one of Harry's last little pleasures these days.

He checked the rest of the mail and found nothing that needed his immediate attention and turned his eyes to the things Hermione had left him. The first thing he opened was the letter addressed to him.

Dear Harry,

Ever since we discovered what those Weasleys did to us, I've been looking into possibilities and what could have been. I already know that I cannot do this, my health is failing too badly to join you in this adventure. You will find everything you need to know along with all my work on this matter in these notes. I would have done this myself if I'd been able, despite both the dangers and illegal actions required, but it didn't work out that way. Harry, we've talked about what might have been since the Wizengamot ruled on our case. This may be the only way to make things right. It's not like we have much to look forward to, now is it?

Love,  
Hermione

Harry put the letter down, wondering just what Hermione was talking about and picked up one of the other papers she'd left him and began to read.

Two day later, Harry had finished the papers and hid them away. He sat down and thought about what Hermione wanted him to do. He was interrupted by someone coming through the wards and he got up to see who was bothering him now. The person that had come up his walk knocked just before he got to the door and Harry opened it to find a pair of Aurors standing there.

"Mr Potter," one of them said, looking nervous, "we are here to inform you that the Wizengamot has made its ruling on Mrs Potter's request."

Harry looked at him for a minute and nodded slowly. "Go on, then."

"The Wizengamot has ruled that you must perform the duties of a husband to Mrs. Potter, Sir." The Auror hesitated as Harry's eyes flared with anger and hate. "You have thirty days to begin complying with this order."

"And did anyone tell you how that was going to happen, when I will kill her if she comes within two hundred feet of me? I swore an oath on my magic to do that very thing, no matter what the cost."

The Auror and his partner were backing up. "Sir, the Wizengamot said that you entered into a magical contract when you married her in the wizard way, and that by refusing to do this, you are breaking that contract. They have said that if you have not started relations with her within thirty days, they will strip you of the Potter name and award it to her oldest child by her next husband."

Harry cocked his head and thought about it for a second. "And how will they do that? I am the only person that can open Potter Manor and I will not, so long as the love potion bitch lives. The total contents of all the Potter vaults is in the Manor, not one thing that belongs to the Potters can be found by anyone." He smiled, a cold bitter smile that sent chills up and down the spine of the two Aurors. "If they wish to call the child a Potter, I care not. But no child of hers will ever enter my property and live, not even after my death. You might want to tell her that. If the Ministry does find a way to enter any Potter property, she had better stay away. Hermione Granger and I laid a curse on the grounds that will kill any descendant of hers unto the tenth generation."

The two Aurors looked at each other. "Gentlemen, you've been polite, even during my rant. I will warn you, for that courtesy. Do not be on duty when the Ministry comes to deal with my refusal to service that bitch. I may be only a half blood, banned by the new laws from the Potter seat on the Wizengamot, prevented from divorcing that potion giving bitch for anything except infidelity, but I am still the Man Who Lived Twice and killed Voldemort." By the end of his rant, Harry's eyes were literally glowing and his magic was radiating like a heat wave from him. "Those people that come here will regret it for the rest of their very short lives."

Harry forced the anger down. "This is my home. My parents died here, I will die here." Harry nodded to the two Aurors. "Good day, gentlemen." Harry stepped back and closed the door.

The two Aurors were silent as they went down the walk. At the road, the one that had done the talking looked back at the house. "You know, I've got holiday time coming. I think this would be a good time to take it."

His partner looked at him. "I've used my holiday time, but I've been thinking about getting out anyway. I've been doing this for seventy years now and I think I need a change, one that doesn't come at the end of Potter's wand."

The two men looked at each other and back at the house. It was silent and still, as if death already rode it and they both shivered. "Come on, youngster," the older man said. "I believe we have some paperwork to do." They turned away and the older man looked at the taller one. "So, where are you going on holiday?"

"Far away from here."

One month later, Ginny Weasley smirked as she approached the house in Godric's Hollow. She knew that offering to vote the Potter seat the way Malfoy wanted it voted would work. That bastard Harry had taken everything from her after he'd found out about the love potions that Ron and she had been feeding Hermione and Harry, and now she was going to return that insult in spades.

Draco Malfoy and his son had been very active in the Wizengamot and they had accomplished with bribes and politics what Voldemort hadn't been able to do. Muggleborns were second class citizens, half-bloods were little better and all the non-humans weren't even recognized as sentient beings. Of course, there weren't any Centaurs, Veelas, Merfolk or other intelligent creatures in Britain anymore as far as anyone knew.

They had helped Ginny get the Potter heritage in return for her votes and now, Harry was going to pay for making her the laughing stock of Britain. For thirty two years, she'd been alone in her bed, since infidelity was the only thing that Harry could divorce her for, but worse than that was the not so silent laughing about her everywhere she went. The whole world knew that Ron and Ginny Weasley had used love potions to get their spouses to marry them, and that once those spouses had figured out what was going on, they'd threatened to kill them both in ways that would have made Voldemort sick.

But now, that bastard Harry was going to pay for his actions. The Wizengamot had agreed to the arrest of Harry, the loss of his Family name and everything that went with it. It would all be hers after today and Harry would be dead, leaving her free to marry again.

She was daydreaming about the young stud she'd have in her bed tonight when the Auror leading the group stopped at the gate. Ginny hadn't been able to figure out why there were only four Aurors with her, or why they all looked a bit dodgy, but it didn't matter. Harry would do his job and impregnate her, or he'd be nothing. And since he was over a hundred years old, at the upper end of male fertility for Wizards, she thought that he'd be dis-inherited in just a few hours. After that, she had a cold eyed man waiting to kill Harry. That bastard Harry would pay for everything, every snicker, laugh and insult of the last thirty two years.

"Mrs. Potter, you might want to read this." Ginny looked at the Auror and took the paper from his hands. She looked at it and began to read.

To the potion Bitch,

Go home. If you step onto this property, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

Hatefully,  
The Man Who Never Loved You

Ginny snarled and looked at the Auror leader. "What are you waiting for? Do your job."

He hesitated and then opened the gate. The four Aurors spread out, their wands in their hands as they went up the walk toward the house. They reached the door with nothing happening and one of them knocked. Nothing happened and they relaxed slightly. Ginny watched them knock twice more and when nothing happened, the Auror closest to the door tried the knob. The door opened and they looked inside. "It doesn't appear that anyone is at home," the leader called back and Ginny snarled before starting up the walk to see what was in the house.

She got barely three metres inside the gate when magic flared around her. An illusion of Harry appeared in front of her. "It's a pity you didn't learn enough about Muggle things to truly appreciate what's about to happen to you. I did warn you, though."

The Aurors and Ginny were frozen in their places as the house trembled and tore free from the foundations. It rose, spinning in the tornado that had come up out of the ground beneath the house and hovered for a few seconds over the group.

The tornado disappeared and three seconds later, all that could be seen of Ginny Weasley-Potter were her feet.

It took the Aurors four days to clear the site and no trace of Harry Potter was ever found. Since the Ministry never found Potter Manor either, over the years the Man Who Lived Twice became another myth, supposedly bound in an eternal slumber in Potter Manor, waiting for the darkest hour of the wizard world.

OoOoOoO

Harry had a smile on his face as he thought about what should have happened to the potion bitch when she came to Godric's Hollow and the house there. By the time his deadline had come he'd already been gone for a week. He went downstairs and collected the morning paper. The date was June 10th, 1988 and Harry would be eight in just a few weeks. He tossed the paper on the floor and went back to his new room. He began to think about the things he had to do. First he would have to get the Dursleys online with what he was going to do. Only two other things had to be done before he started Hogwarts, Luna's mother had to be saved and he had to find a way to meet Hermione. There were a few more things he wanted to get done, including finding as many of the Horcruxes as possible, freeing Sirius and getting in contact with Remus, if he could without alerting Albus Dumbledore to that contact. However, those things could wait if he had to. Keeping the Ministry and Dumbledore from finding out he was doing anything was far more important right now.

He understood where Dumbledore was coming from, because it had taken Hermione and Harry more than ten years of work to figure out how to destroy a Horcrux without destroying the container it was in. But this time, Harry was not going to be a beaten battered little boy, willing to die at the madman's hands again. The Ministry had to be kept in the dark because all forms of time travel were restricted to Ministry approved uses and subject to so many restrictions, rules and regulations that few people ever tried to use it. He was certain Dumbledore would not be happy to have his plans thwarted and Harry didn't ever want to know what the Ministry would do to him for jumping a full century into the past.

He heard the rest of the household starting to rise for the morning and he smirked. Wandless magic by children under eleven was always written off as accidental magic, because everyone 'knew' that wandless magic was hard to learn and took a very long time. It had taken Harry a few years to get proficient with it, but now he could do almost anything without his wand that he could do with it.

Harry was going to use that to help persuade the Dursleys to go along with what he was going to do. A few threats to use magic on them, some bribery and a little blackmail would make them fall into line quite easily. He smirked again as Aunt Petunia called for him to start cooking and left the room.

Harry went downstairs and watched as Petunia pulled the cupboard open, already yelling at Harry. "I'm not in there, Petunia."

His Aunt turned, frowning at him. "How did you get out of there? I know I locked it last night."

Harry smiled at her. "Magic, of course." His smile grew at her stunned expression. "I have to thank you and Vernon, Petunia. If it hadn't been for your abuse over the last few years, I would have had to wait until my Hogwarts letter came to learn about magic. Since you were being abusive, the magic came early." Harry smirked at her appalled look. "Now, why don't you let Dudley go off to beat up the little kids again, and you and Vernon and I will sit down and talk about the changes we're going to make? Or do I call over a couple of dozen more wizards to have a party, magic style?"

Petunia backed up into the kitchen and gasped when she saw the table set for the three Dursleys. She looked at Harry with a touch of fear and Harry shook his head. "It's not conjured, nor is it poisoned. I do need you two for some of the things that I want to do, so I'm not going to repay every broken bone or bruise."

Vernon and Dudley came into the kitchen and sat down to begin eating. Vernon picked up the paper and was soon deep in the business section, without ever seeing Petunia's strained look. Dudley, of course, didn't notice anything but the food. Dudley scarfed his food down and announced that he was going over to Piers house to play his new computer game.

The front door had barely shut behind him when Petunia was talking. "Vernon, we have a situation."

Vernon looked over the paper at her. "Dash it all, Pet, can't it wait until I'm done with the stocks at least?"

Harry waved his hand and the paper flew up and stuck to the ceiling. "No, it can't."

Vernon stared at the paper and then stood up as his face started turning red. "Damn freak. There will be none... urk."

Harry looked at Vernon, stuck to the ceiling next to the paper. "I suggest you listen to me. Or you might find it hard to go to work."

Vernon's face had gone pale and there was a wet stain on his pants. Harry set him back down in his chair. "I have several options right now. The best one, from my point of view, is simply to go find a wizard police officer and tell him about how you've treated me for the last six years. You two would go to prison and I would go back to the wizard world."

Petunia paled and moaned but before she could say anything Harry spoke again. "I'm not going to do that though, if we can come to an agreement today."

Vernon looked at Harry. "What happened to you, boy? You sound different from yesterday."

Harry grinned mirthlessly. "In cases of abuse, magic takes steps to defend wizards. I got a lot of information and magic last night." He waved his hand again and Vernon felt the wet spot on his pants disappear. "Now, if you like, we can do something else. Petunia will help me do a couple of things in the wizard world and after that, I will disappear from your lives. I'll be living in the second bedroom upstairs, but you won't ever see me. No food to waste, no clothes to buy, nothing."

Vernon looked puzzled. "What second bedroom?"

Harry remembered the Fidelius he'd used earlier. He told them the secret and watched as they remembered the bedroom. "If we come to an agreement, I'll stay in that room, except when I'm at school. In return for being left alone, and that includes Dudley, I'll give you one hundred pounds a week in cash. That will allow you to hire a gardener to come in and do the garden, and even have a girl come in to help with the housework." Harry smirked. "That should raise your standing in the neighbourhood a bit."

Vernon and Petunia looked at each other, communicating in the way married couple do. Vernon looked at Harry. "We don't have to have anything to do with you, or those other freaks?"

Harry shook his head. "After Petunia helps me in Diagon Alley today, I won't be around at all, and I won't bring any magicals here." He considered it thoughtfully. "In fact, if things work out the way I want them to, I won't be living here after I turn eleven."

Vernon looked hopeful at that and then frowned. "What if we don't agree with this plan?"

Harry stared at him. "Then I have two choices. I go to the Aurors, the wizard police or I can do something else." He smiled coldly. "Late tonight, I wizard lock the doors and windows and set the house on fire. You'll all die and I'll be rescued by the Wizards. That feel so very sad for me, orphaned again, but I'll be revenged for six years of pain and abuse."

Vernon and Petunia were staring at Harry in horror. He smirked at them. "You both knew that one day I would find out about the magic I can do. Didn't you ever think about what I might do about all the abuse you heaped on me?"

Vernon and Petunia looked at Harry nervously. Petunia was the first to speak. "How do we know you won't murder us after you have what you want now?"

Harry shrugged. "You may have been abusive, but I have an enemy in the wizard world that wants to kill me," he said bluntly. "As long as I live under this roof, He can't find any of us. Until I have made sure that he can't get at me, this is the safest place for me, despite you two. I'm simply trying to alleviate your problems and mine."

Vernon frowned. "And if we just send you away?"

Harry shrugged. "Voldemort might find me, but without me here to power the wards, he will definitely find you. Since the only thing Voldemort wants from Muggles is pain, fear and death, I don't think that meeting would go well for you."

Harry and the Dursleys came to a rough agreement before Vernon had to go to work . Harry got everything he wanted, but Vernon held out for one hundred and fifty pounds a week. The extra is to keep Dudley happy. He's going to be annoyed about this, no matter how I phrase it, and I'd rather he kept quiet out of self interest."

OoOoOoO

Two hours later, Petunia and Harry were on their way to London. Harry was making notes as he coached Petunia in what she had to do when they arrived in Diagon Alley. So, before we do anything else, you're going to tell the goblins that I am to have full and unrestricted access to vault 820. It was the Montrose family vault," Harry said, anticipating her next question, "but the last Montrose was my great grandmother on my father's side."

Petunia frowned. "How are you going to prove that? Won't they want proof that you have the right to be in the vault?"

Harry shrugged as he wrote another note. "They have ways of determining who should have access to a vault. I'm just hoping that Dumbledore doesn't have a watch on the vault. He shouldn't, seeing as the Montroses were not a big or powerful family, but he might. I hope not, since that would require that I do some things that I don't want to do yet."

Petunia nodded. Harry made another note. "After that, we're going to get some things that I'll need to have, and a lot of books. I have a great deal of studying to do before I go to Hogwarts."

Petunia watched Harry for a minute. "You seem angry at Dumbledore. Why is that? You've never met him that I know of."

Harry glanced up. "Mother's will specifically forbid me going to you. She knew that you and Vernon hated magic and didn't want to distress you or make me grow up the way I did. Dumbledore ignored the will and did what he wanted to do, which has led to this mess we're in now."

Petunia looked confused. "But we don't have any other family to take you in."

"Not on mum's side, no. But James Potter was the only son of a line that goes back centuries, and he has a dozen or more relatives that would have been acceptable, except for Dumbledore's interference."


	8. Chapter 8

Just a little thing that fell out one night after being invited to a community that was mostly DM/HG. Say what? The leading proponent of Pureblood idealism, the biggest bully in school, the only person that Hermione ever physically struck, with the Muggleborn that proves everything in his life wrong? Draco managing to change enough to make Hermione love him? Only if Hermione had an ulterior motive.

Hermione Granger and the Pureblood

Scenario: The war is over, Voldemort is gone, and life goes on, for most people. Until the Pureblood realize there are not enough of them left to sustain themselves. Some bribery, a few threats and one Wizengamot vote later, the Marriage Law is a done deal. Draco Malfoy has finally found a way to bring Hermione Granger down, and he's going to enjoy every minute of it.

Draco sat in Gringotts, his face impassive while he waited for his soon to be bride. Nine years. Nine years of Granger being better, smarter than he was. Until now. She would sign the marriage contract because she had no choice at all. It was being enforced by the Ministry after all, and after the ceremony, she would be his. As the male in the marriage, he would be able to control everything she did, met with, talked to or even wrote letters to. He'd already set up a one room house on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. He'd keep her there, with no books, no paper, nothing to do except bear him an heir, and after that... well, insanity was a good reason to get rid of her and collect a more acceptable woman to take to the Balls and parties. He looked up as the door opened.

Hermione walked into the room and kept the twitch of her hand towards her wands concealed. She sat done across from Draco. She had one chance here, and it had to be done just right.

Hermione and Draco spent nearly an hour going over the contract, arguing over terms and wording. When it was done, the goblin took it away to being rewritten according to those changes they had agreed on. Draco was elated that she hadn't changed enough of it to prevent his plans moving forward, but kept his face still. It would not do to make her look at it again.

"There is one more thing, Malfoy," Hermione said as they waited for the goblin to return. Draco waited, wondering what the mudblood was up to. "I will not sign any contract, until we both swear an Unbreakable vow that there will not be any physical abuse or pain caused to either person." She looked at him. "I know that you plan on trying to make my life with you hell after you have your heir, but I think I can make your life a bigger hell. So, both of us swear an oath that we will not cause, or allow physical pain to each other." Hermione smirked, knowing it would anger Draco. "As long as our war is mental or emotional, I can hold my own, and we both know it. What neither of us can guard against, however, is a curse in the night, or a kick in the balls." Hermione smiled slyly. "Or poison in your food, or any one of a thousand other ways I have thought of to kill you over the years."

Draco considered all the ramifications of such a vow. As he thought, the goblin returned with the contract. He looked at Hermione. "And if I choose to say no?"

Hermione shrugged. "Today is the deadline to contracted, Malfoy. If we are not contracted by midnight, our magic will be bound and we'll both be squibs." She smirked at him. "If that happens, I go back to the Muggle world, go to school for a few years and carry on with my life. What will you do?"

Draco opened his mouth but Hermione spoke first. "Before you say you'll sign a contract with some other girl today, you should know that every girl you qualify to marry under this law is already contracted. In short, if we don't come to an agreement today, tomorrow we'll both be squibs."

Draco and Hermione spent the next three hours working out the exact wording of the vow they would take. Susan Bones acted as their Bonder, having been the only person both of them could agree on.

With their vows spoken the two signed the marriage contract, and sent a copy to the Ministry, to show their compliance with the law.

(Insert three months or fights and bitter arguments as Draco wants a purely Wizard wedding, and Hermione insists on having a ceremony her family can attend. Colours, foods, every possible thing they can fight about comes up.)

The day of the wedding was beautiful, not that anyone participating really noticed, as the tension between the Groom's side and the Bride's side was high enough that Amelia Bones had a dozen of her Aurors keeping the peace.

No few sighs of relief were heard when the wedding and the dinner were done without anyone being cursed.

Hermione waited in the Master bedroom of Malfoy manor. Draco had brought her here, and promptly disappeared into his study to have a celebratory drink. He opened the door and looked at her. "Take it off," he commanded. "Lay face down on the bed. I may have to get an heir on you, but that doesn't mean I have to look at you."

Hermione did as said silently. Draco stripped and crawled between her legs, muttering a lubrication spell as he did so. He wasn't going to try to pleasure the mudblood, but he wasn't going to take a chance on hurting her with a dry entry either.

Draco thrust himself into her and suddenly seized up. As he fell off the bed Hermione sat on the edge of the bed and smirked at him. "Something wrong, Malfoy?" She watched him as he convulsed again. "I knew that you were an idiot, Malfoy, in fact, I counted on your stupidity and arrogance to make this work. You're never thought about anyone else in your life, which is why I asked for that vow, the one that's killing you now. I knew you would never even consider the fact that I was a virgin when you came to beget your heir, or that having your virginity taken is painful." She looked around the room as Draco's eyes began dimming. "One year from today, Mrs Malfoy will marry Harry Potter-Black, folding the Malfoy family back into the Black family, ending not only the Malfoy name, but the Lestrange family as well, since Bellatrix's will left everything to you." She watched as he went limp and the light faded from his eyes.

Hermione got up and dressed. As the only living Malfoy, she had a lot of work to do. She notified the DMLE of the death of Draco and called Susan Bones.

As she waited for the people to start arriving, she took out some parchment and began making plans. There were a lot of people that had to pay for this whole Marriage Law stupidity, and it had to be completely legal, at least until Harry, Neville, Susan and herself could take up their Wizengamot seats when they turned twenty-five.

'

Hermione put the parchment away as the first Aurors began spilling out of the Floo.

(possible continuation: Harry's "marriage" to Pansy per the law, how he got rid of her, and the efforts of the muggleborn and halfbloods to hasten the end of the Purebloods that continue the bigoted ways, and the slow changes to bring the Wizard world into the twentieth century without losing any of the traditions that actually mean something. Hard work to do with no real conflict except politics and verbal conflict.)

Seriously, people. Draco and Hermione are Enemies, period. While some Purebloods might be willing to change, nothing in any canon suggests that Draco would. In the end, he's an arrogant, stupid bitch without any consideration for anyone but himself.

And, if by some miracle, he did change, Hermione hates him, and her two closest friend hate him. I can't see her losing Ron and Harry as friends to marry the toerag that made most of her Hogwarts career hell.


End file.
